Vows: Love + Cherish
One of the easiest ways for me to discover the difference between loving and cherishing was to compare the famous biblical chapter on love (1 Corinthians 13) with the Song of Solomon, a book devoted to cherishing. Consider these comparisons:
Love is about being gracious and altruistic. “Love is patient and kind” (1 Corinthians 13:4). Cherish is about being enthusiastic and enthralled. “How much better is your love than wine, and the fragrance of your oils than any spice” (Song of Solomon 4:10).
Love tends to be quiet and understated. “Love does not envy or boast” (1 Corinthians 13:4). Cherish boasts boldly and loudly. “My beloved is radiant and ruddy, distinguished among ten thousand” (Song of Solomon 5:10).
Love thinks about others with selflessness. “[Love] is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). Cherish thinks about its beloved with praise. “Your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely” (Song of Solomon 2:14).
Love doesn’t want the worst for someone. “[Love] does not rejoice at wrongdoing” (1 Corinthians 13:6). Cherish celebrates the best in someone. “Behold, you are beautiful, my love; behold, you are beautiful” (Song of Solomon 1:15).
Love puts up with a lot. “[Love] hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:7). Cherish enjoys a lot. “His mouth is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable” (Song of Solomon 5:16).
Love and cherish complement each other. Without the bedrock force of love, cherishing won’t last. It’ll be a sentimental ideal that is lost in the real world. Without cherishing, love feels like a duty more than a delight. I don’t want my wife to think I’m with her only because God says I’m not allowed to leave; I want her to think my greatest delight is sharing life with her.
Men, our wives want more than simply to be loved. They want to hear, “You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride; you have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes” (Song of Solomon 4:9). And wives, your husbands want more than to be tolerated. They want to hear, “As an apple tree among the trees of the forest, so is my beloved among the young men” (Song of Solomon 2:3).
- GARY THOMAS
